Chaos and Zins

The most difficult thing I do most days is to decide what it is I'm feeling; what it is that is churning the most intensely in my belly. Is it my fear of loss, triggered by Brandyn's impending dance with the Grim Reaper? Is it money worries? Is it that feeling of being overwhelmed by mess and minutia, as when I step into my "office" to see mounds of paper leering at me; or panic at structural decay, touched when I see that the kitchen is beyond needing new paint, or the gutters need cleaning and the driveway needs patching and the hot tub needs a new filter and the birds are pooping all over the porch and where did I put that bill from MasterCard and the junk drawer is spilling over and I haven't gone to the rental house to clean up the gross fridge yet and I have cases of wine stored in the basement instead of the wine cooler which is full and will that wine age properly and why hasn't Laura called about that book I want to borrow and oh crap I forgot to call Kelly back about a coffee date and I need to start gathering stuff for my taxes and ask Sus's friend about getting that de-wormer for Picasso and talk to Jay again about the tree trimming and the oil gasket leak and remind Darcy that Jay isn't working and dam! I forgot to drop off Susan's New Year's gift but the sidewalks are so treacherous and Dio is whining for a walk but he's got that bad paw and everything is so icy and I want to send Cara that link about the self-destruction of the GOP but don't want to offend her and if Andie picks me up for dinner should we change the sheets then or wait until later in case Pook has an accident and I wonder if Robin reached Sherri about her overdue payment and why hasn't Gary dropped off his check and if Debra wants to hang out here Saturday I need to find time to do the floors and is it best to do my workout when I'm fresh in the morning or should I stick to the afternoon and save the early part of the day for writing and should I call the doctor to cancel that appointment to see if I have skin cancer since that ugly mark is fading on its own and when will Linda give me her 3-month schedule so we can plan a trip to Tucson and why wasn't I invited on the Galapagos trip not that I could go because of my ailing baby, but still. . .

Okay, it's definitely the overwhelming thing today. So: Just pick one task to tackle. One at a time. That's the way to beat back the chaos. And when that starts to grate, I'll give myself a break and do a Gomer's run, beause they've got their Zinfandels on sale and I'd like to try that Rosenblum Cuvee, and maybe the Cosentino Cigar Zin. It is so much fun for me that Andie is starting to dig wine. My grin leaped to my earlobes the other night when I walked up her drive and saw her through the window, sitting on the couch, scribbling on the crossword and pausing to lift a glass of wine to her lips. The look on her face was so contemplative, so considering, that I knew what she was doing was TASTING. Really really pausing to taste her wine.